


the average day in the Right Ozone

by More_Than_Four_Quadrants



Category: Homestuck, More Than Four Quadrants
Genre: Deliberate Badfic, Fourth Wall Break, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-15 13:33:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13032204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/More_Than_Four_Quadrants/pseuds/More_Than_Four_Quadrants





	1. ????

Life in the Right Ozone was hard, Daddy Fillet mused.

There he saw an alien, she had a nice rack

Her horns were the biggest he had ever seen. Like, DAMN, how did she get into doorways? 

It was the greatest rack in all of Alternia.  
Oh-  
She had huge tits too.

"Hey" he said, walking up to her.  
"Why your horns so big" he asked.  
She shrugged.

""WeLL my horns are so GOD DAMN BIG because i kiLLed so many GOD DAMN goats"" she said, as her huge rack of cheese fell into the pit behind her, bottomless and unforgiving

She headbutted a goat into the pit for good measure. "That and cheese. Goat cheese. GOD DAMN cheese. I can't keep these GOD DAMN goats and their GOD DAMN cheese from teLeporting above me. " 

"That's fucking disgusting" he said, he grabbed his shotgun.  
"B E G O N E T H O T" he said, shooting her.

"fooLish human, do you think your pitifuL buLLets can penetrate my GOD DAMN MIND FIELD?" she said, the bullets remained suspended in the air. She then flung them at some poor, innocent goat that was unfortunate enough to be passing by in the ozone.

She was, however, unprepared for the cheese wheel that teleported above her head and hit her right in her magnificent rack. 

She fell down.  
Daddy fillet stood above her.  
"Well if I can't hurt you physically ill hurt your feelings" he said.  
"What do the other kids call you uh? cheese girl?"  
"what you gonna do cheese girl?"  
she recalled her childhood

Her childhood was like most others, frollocking with goats and eating their cheese. She then recalled learning about the truth. About how in order to aquire goat cheese you needed to jack it off by the nipples and then shake the extracted milk until all you get is a solid cheese.

She could never look at a cheese wheel the same way again. How could anyone possibly EAT that shit? A single bronze tear fell down her cheek as she looked up at Daddy Fillet.

She craved release.

She quietly whispered in Daddy Fillet's ear.  
"take me... to didney world"  
she'd always wanted to go to didney world  
"can't we have hot sex instead"

"we wiLL after we have been to GOD DAMN DIDNEY WORL" she... sorta yelled. The happy couple flew down into didney worl but, as it turned out, everyone there were racist towards aliens with boobs and people who liked goat cheese, which she was both. They flew the GOD DAMN hell outta there and into the sky high club motel.

They are now prepared to have hot sex. The constant interuptions by teleporting goat cheese and goats will make it weird, but it's okay cuz it's both of their kinks anyways.

You know what other kink they have? Nuclear bombs. a piece of goat cheese teleported in, carrying a nuclear bomb. Somehow, it grew arms and set the bomb off. The thot and fillet went launched into space with terezi, vriska, tavros, and gamzee to have a hot space orgy.

"yes" daddy fillet said, tasting completion as he made out with Goat Lady while fingering gamzee who was fucking tavros.  
Vriska and terezi were in the corner doing some totally gay shit.

Suddenly, A HUGE GOD DAMN GOAT appeared and punted daddy fillet and goat lady into the ground, who were still fucking eachother. They got up from the crater they created and wondered around, Goat lady's shirt had been rupped and was showing her huge rack of cheese which she then gave to daddy fillet.

Daddy Fillet thoughtfully ate the cheese as he watched the remainder of the space orgy play out.

The goat began to join in the fucking, its overlarge member ripping into everything.

Suddenly, Neophyte Redglare rose from the dead and started arresting everybody because apparently space orgies are illegal. Once everybody was put in their cells, Mindfang suddenly burst into the room and began anally fucking Redglare. She came into her bum and then a Navy Seal began to nuke the planet. Everybody died and the story ended.

The end, shitlords.


	2. The Metanning

"So"  
"This is our latest fanfic"  
"I mean kinda seems like a downgrade, it's just not, as shitty as it used to be ya get me?" Flippet Urnways said, casually adjusting his crown of jpeg.

"My ass hurts from when you fucked me last night, latula" tost exclaimed in joy.

"w3ll you should h4v3 gott3n mor3 lub3 wh3n w3 w3nt to th3 stor3 y3st3rd4y." latula said. "h3y, why 4r3 w3 go1ng m3t4 4ll of 4 sudd3n?"

"I dunno, I guess i just sorta felt like it." Flippet said.  
"Hey anyone wanna have an orgy tonight?" he asked, idly throwing away the stack of papers he was holding.

"Nah im good, i got a date with some Goat lady or whatever the fuck she's called" toast said in excitement

"4r3 you ch34t1ng on m3?" latula said, "1 h4v3 nuk3s 4nd 1 w1ll t4k3 control of th3 story."  
"I'm down" Acolyte whispered, quietly bringing out some ropes and chains and weird rubbery things from god-only-knows where.

"See? Acolyte gets me" Flippet said, idly adjusting his crone(tm)   
"Wait what was that about a goat lady" he asked, quickly shifting so that the crone(tm) fell from his beautifull head.

"Yeah while you guys were fucken about i created her in some lab and now shes my girlfriend, anyways, ollie outtie" toast said

Latula used her powers to teleport bunpt back in and then used her newfound moderator powers to destroy bunpt toast in bed.

Peanut Brittle, uninformed of the unfolding chaos, slid across in her shitty traction red boots and asked Flippet: "What the hell is happening. I know what the hell is happening, but what the hell is happening." It's common that she used the same word and gave it two different meanings or uses, even if it was supposed to have only one.

Flippet slowly picked up his crone(tm), looked Peanut in the eyes, and put his hands on her shoulders.  
"I have no fucking idea"  
Acolyte nudged him "So are we doing this or not"  
"Uuuuuh yeah gimme a sec"

After the SBAHJ movie everyone began the censored-hole waltz. Latula began destroying bunpt tost in bed a second time, and fillet began filling peanut brittle, all while Acolyte was fapping to the scene unfolding in front of him.


End file.
